And God said let there be livejournal...

So I finally made a live journal, i've always wanted to keep a journal but i'm way too unorganized to do so on paper, and typing it out online is much easier. I've been contemplating livejournal for a while but never had enough motivation to actually make one i guess. Well at this moment I have the motivation and here I go...

I just started school last week and its okay I guess, I wanted to stay home this year because Delhi sucked and I feel a little more comfortable in an area with more than 3 gas stations and a pizza hut. I just met my roommate maybe an hour ago or so, he seems like a cool guy I talked to him for maybe 10 minutes, he seemed ecstatic to see me, he said he was looking forward to having a roommate which is good because I was kind of nervous about barging in his room 2 weeks after he started living there and saying hey I'm your new roommate make room and intruding on someones life like that. Anyways I'm looking forward to dorming after all.

Otherwise my life is pretty hectic right now, I am flat broke and I have applied to a few places but I haven't heard a thing and it worries me because my cell phone bill is on the horizon and the money I have I spent to go upstate to see Lauren this weekend and most of it was supposed to be given back to me but I may have to wait a little longer than expected to receive it.

My birthday is less than two weeks away and I can tell already that its going to be the worst one ever. Beside the fact that after 16, 19 is the most useless birthday at least at 17 you can see a rated R movie and at 18 you become legal for a lot of things, and 20 your out of the teens and 21 your a bonafide (hahahah sp?) adult and birthdays dont matter after that, but also everyone has massive amounts of problems in my family right now. My family just moved to a new house after getting kicked out of the old one and my mom can barely afford to pay for schooling, my dad is getting payed in unemployment checks, my grandparents are on vacation, Lauren is away at college (although she will be home on the day of my birthday which is awesome), and everyone is just doing their own thing, i'll be surprised if anyone even remembers my birthday this year.

The one thing I really want to try to avoid as much as possible on this thing is broadcasting my relationship with Lauren, most things are personal. A relationship is between 2 people and no one else. So I will try hard not to get into too much detail on this thing about us other than the fact that things are good with us. I miss her like hell and she is way too far away. When I was away it was bad enough and I was only 6 hours away via bus, she is currently 13 hours each way on a bus just to see her or her to see me. It doesnt bother me too much though, because I love her with all my heart and I know that we are meant for each other. We've been through way too much not to be :-p.

And finally the reason that made me write this journal in the first place... This weekend. One of the worst weekends of my life, I dont really find it appropriate to broadcast what happened to the world but there is one thing I will say in this journal... It is disgusting that one thing or one person for that matter can become such a burden on your life, a pain, a thorn on your side, just poking at you poking and poking at you, making you miserable for as long as they are a part of your life in any way shape or form, just poking at you, making your stomach turn in knots everytime you hear their name or see them, making you want to vomit at the pain they are causing you, asking for help trying to get rid of it, but the harder you try the harder it pokes you until it finally breaks skin, and everything you have just bleeds right out of you. And finally after its done as much damage as it can do you find a way to get it out. But its already too late, and you know that it will eventually heal but you will always have that small scar to remind you of the pain.

Well I hope that thorn falls to the ground and rots, rots in hell for the pain it caused me.

That is all for today, my head hurts and i'm going to lay down for a while.